Until I met Rebecca,
my life was empty, meaningless...
I wandered through life seeking connection with another human being
looking for just one person with whom I...
...I could truly communicate.
But I found no one.
I felt increasingly alone
among the cruel, greedy, pathetic faces that surrounded me.
And I saw myself doomed to a chaotic and senseless universe.
But I hadn't always been like that.
Once, for nine glorious months,
I was completely happy and fulfilled.
Until...
You're damn rough, like you don't want to come on out of there.
You want to give me a hand, Esther?
- Oh, yes Doctor! - Thank you.
- You got it? - Yes, I...
- I said you got it? - Yes, of course I've got it!
- Now look what you've done, goddamnit! - As I hung there,
I knew my best days were over.
True, mother did have a marvelous spirit
and wanted to show me a world of beauty and happiness.
Father had a different approach
You little fucking rat!
You little???. You're a fucking cunt!
He didn't want me growing up with any false ideas
of how pure and wonderful the world is.
After father died suddenly in an industrial accident.
I was forced to come to terms with
the devastating emotional impact of his passing.
As I said goodbye to father for the last time,
I was moved by his example of dignity in death.
As for Mother, well...
Despite all of the beautiful memories I have of her.
The one I remember most
is a conversation we had shortly before she died.
So why you eatin' so much watercress, Mom?
Keeps my colon clean as a whistle.
Dr. McGougin is so proud of me.
My stool? Just like toothpaste.
Even Mother confirmed my greatest fear.
That despite all the art and beauty and love
that are supposedly possible in life.
It all still boils down to the petty, to the animal,
to the comfort of bowels in movement.
In my groping quest for compnaionship,
I made many mistakes.
Yes, you're so good!
Yes, yes.. Oh yes, you're so good.
Oh my God! Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming!
And solo efforts proved fruitless.
Yet no matter how resigned I was to a life of solitude
I tried always to reach out to my fellow man.
After all, I believe if there is to be love and frienship on earth.
It should begin with me.
Oh my goodness, where is that card?
Look, there's no problem.
The line's hardly moving.
That guy up in front looks like he's a computer programmer or something.
Yeah I know,
But I got to find it and I know it's in here someplace.
Look, if it's not,
I'll give you my card.
I'll tell you my security code and you can withdraw money out of my account.
Oh yeah, I'm sure my husband would appreciate that.
Actually.
Do you know what I'd do if you did take money out of my account?
No, what?
I'd slice open your belly.
Then I'd put a hungry rat in it and sew it back up.
I beg your pardon?
I bet you would like to get your greedy little hands on my bank account, wouldn't you?
I bet you were planning on looking over my shoulder to get my security code number, weren't you?
- I wasn't, don't be ridiculous! - You fucking liar! Thief!
You were going in front of me!
Mr. Skuros, you possess such an interesteing werdensecht.
Absolutely fascinated
when each one of your photographs offers its own programmatic unity.
How do you get your subjects to do what you want them to?
Well, generally I try to get to know them first.
You know. Build as much trust as I can between photographer and subject.
- That's absolutely essential. - Oh, I'm sure it's crucial.
But if that doesn't work,
I'll yell at them, threaten them, call them names.
- Mr. Skor, you're too much. - Please, call me Martin.
I know the...
theme of your... exhibit is urban horror.
And your composition and technical skills are so accomplished. But...
this subject seems so dreadful.
- Do you really think so? - Oh, I know it was your intention.
But yes, yes I do.
He is hideous, isn't he.
Where did you find this man?
This is my father.
The photographs that night depicted my usual life affirming subjects.
Most of them pretty atrocious, really. A bunch of exploitation shots.
Only one photograph there truly reflected how I feel deep inside.
But everyone just glanced at it, igonored it.
It showed an old woman alone in the middle of the night
trying on her old swimsuit.
Comparing her body at 70.
To her body at 17.
You might dismiss this as maudlin.
Calling it what the Japanese call: 物の哀れ.
'Melancholy at the fleeting nature of things'.
But in me, it provoked the most profound terror.
It spoke of beauty, and decay, and death.
And it suggested that most threatening aspect of our wretched little lives.
Absololute solitude.
Mr. Skuros, what do you think the role of the artist is?
I first saw her, at that opening, staring at that photograph.
She seemed mesmerized.
I knew she had understood exactly what I was trying to say.
And I could tell, that like me,
she was a fragile, delicate creature trapped in a cruel and ugly world.
Martin, there's some people over here I really think you should meet.
Herb and Janie Swanson, I'd like you to meet Martin Skuris.
Martin, the Swansons. Patrons of the gallery.
I admire your work
Herbert and I are very taken by the street people -
A vacuum flushed my gut as I thought I would never see her again.
For the brief moments I had watched her.
My work, my life, my existence had suddenly had meaning.
Now my chance for communion with another human being...
had vanished...
The next day I had to photograph what are perhaps my most tragic subjects.
Oh, Martin?
Cathy wanted me to remind you to remember to take those shots of her and Ed.
With goblets, sharing a goblet, and looking into each others eyes, and...
You know, all those romantic, um...
Cloudy, kind of fuzzy shots of Cathy before the wedding, with her vail.
Cathy at the altar.
You know, so we'll have something nice to put on the piano.
Rebecca!
Aren't you ever on time for anything?
I knew she was pretending.
But inside she was as aware as I of how absurd this whole scene was.
I need to borrow you for a second. Sorry, Rebecca.
- Hi. - You know...
You get some good shots?
Yeah...
Gets as good as they could be here, yeah?
- God, that's a great camera. - Yeah?
Wow, what kind is it?
That's a...
That's an old press photographer's camera.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Do you take photographs too? - No.
You know, I take a class at city college,
but, you know, I've never seen anything like this.
- Don't! - I'm sorry.
You scared me.
- I'm sorry. - It's OK.
Here, don't let it drop.
Do you know something?
Do you think it's just chance that we are meeting like this?
That we're both here at this wedding, we're talking,
that we're both photographers?
That... you've taken my picture, and I've taken yours?
It's not chance, it's destiny.
It is!
You and I were meant to meet.
Ahh!
What are you talking about, are you serious?
I'm talking about an old lady looking at herself in the mirror.
What old lady?
I'm sorry, I've made a mistake.
Wait a minute!
Were you at the Martin Skuros exhibit last night?
Then you remeber it!
Yes, you were in that picture...
Oh god!
It was beautiful, I love that picture.
That was...
I've been thinking about it constantly.
I had to test her of course.
I mean, I didn't want to be wrong about her and make a fool of myself.
Yet very word that issued from her lips
only confirmed my belief that she was just like me.
She's a sales manager for a company that sells car floormats.
- Yeah? - Ah-huh.
- Floormats? - Mm hmm!
- Oh, God! That sounds horrible! - Yeah, I know.
She's going to Hawaii for her honeymoon.
Yeah.
And Ed? Where's Ed going to go?
To Hawaii, for...
No, you know.
I get so... I can't stand to think about her...
You know. With her doomed life of clipping coupons, and...
You know, driving her safari station wagon.
Anyway,
Cathy thinks we're still really good friends,
you know, and I just had to be in the wedding.
You must think I'm awful talking like this.
No, quite the contrary.
Yeah... I gues everyone needs something to believe in.
Even if it's stupid, like Cathy believes in marriage.
My roomate believes in chanting.
Her group and her get together once a week.
Saying 'Nam-myoho Rengei-kyo' over and over like that.
They chant for things like...
cadillacs and...
you know...
snowmobiles, world peace, shit like that,
and they think it makes them happy.
Yeah, but both cases are these weak and pathetic people uniting,
so that they can all be weak and pathetic together.
What do you believe in?
- Do you believe in marriage? - Shit!
Come on, it's your ball.
I'm curious.
Do you believe in marriage?
I don't know.
I wouldn't want to marry anyone who I couldn't communicate with completely.
I'd like to be with someone who really understands me, who knows my core.
But I'm too humdrum to have really tried.
And sometimes I think nobody ever will.
Do you know at all what I'm talking about?
The fact that she readily agreed to come home with me
revealed her growing commitment.
And I felt as though my life until then had been just a long and stupid preface.
We talked until almost dawn.
When she finally revealed that she too wanted our coupling to be complete.
I mean, this is from an artist, you know?
I don't know, I don't want to tell you how to shoot your pictures.
But I think you ought to let this side of you
pops its head out a little bit.
So...?
When are you going to teach me everything you know about photography?
When do you want to start?
We could start tonight, shoot a roll.
Great, if you do the shooting I'll pull your focus.
But how long a lense are we talking about Martin?
I think it goes from about 70mm to maybe 210mm.
That's good...
Because you know, with a lense that long everything but your subject blurs.
Oh fate! Oh destiny!
You had for thirty five years forsaken me.
And in a bolt of lightning
you delivered me a woman pure and beautiful in spirit.
Strong and frank in eroticism.
A woman with whom physical union was spiritual union.
I was having my first taste of eternity.
Rebecca?
I enjoyed being with you, give me a call sometime.
I had expected to wake up to her and consummate the start of a new day.
A new life together!
When had she left? And why?
Why?!
She didn't have to work. It was Sunday.
And this note, this contradictory note.
On the one hand, I like the way she put "I enjoyed being with you".
Very simple, very beautiful.
I also enjoyed being with her.
But I was dumbstruck by the second line.
"Give me a call... sometime?"
I mean.
Why not, "Call me today?" or "Call me tomorrow?"
Instead of this imprecise, this impersonal "Sometime?"
And come to think of it, why had she written
"I enjoyed being with you?"
In the past tense? As though it were a completed action?
Why not, "I enjoy being with you?"
Which is more timeless, more eternal.
More reflective of her feelings.
Hello?
- Hi, is Rebecca in? - Uhh, Hold on a second, I'll check.
Hello?
Rebecca...
- It's Martin. - Hey! What's up?
- How are you? - Good!
How was your day? What have you done?
Uh... I've been fine, it's been, well...
It's been sort of slow.
Rebecca, I've been thinking about you.
I've been thinking about...
I've been thinking about the way that we met, about...
everything that we did and what we discusssd and...
I've been thinking about you all days.
Rebecca?
- Hello? Rebecca? - Yeah, go ahead. You were thinking.
Rebecca...
Meeting you has been...
such an overwhelming experience that I...
For the first time in my life I find that I...
Rebecca? Hello? Rebecca?
Yeah, I'm here. Go ahead.
- Is this a bad time for you to talk? - No, it's fine.
Look, hold on a second, I'm going to switch phones, okay?
- Okay, Cindy! - Okay!
Now I can talk.
How come you didn't wake me up this morning when you left?
Well, I was supposed to meet a friend for brunch.
And you looked so beautiful sleeping, I didn't have the heart to disturb you.
What are you doing tonight? Can we get together tonight?
I'm... I'm... I'm completely exhausted...
thanks to you!
And I have to get up early anyways.
Uh, how about tomorrow? Are you busy tomorrow?
Um, it's going to be a pretty hectic week for me.
You know, school and work and everything.
Why don't I give you a call later,
in a few days, when everything lightens up?
- In a few days? - Yeah, emm.
Okay.
I'll be thinking about you, Rebecca.
Me too.
- Good bye. - Good bye.
Naturally I was glad that she changed phones so we could talk.
But why hadn't she done it as soon as shen knew it was me?
And her initial coldness...
Obviously she couldn't speak tenderly around this idiot Cindy.
But the radical shift in tone irritated me.
Was she trying to hide something from Cindy?
Perhaps her true feelings for me?
And if so, why?
And why couldn't she see me for a few days?
We're all very busy,
but are we really so busy that we can't take an hour,
or a half hour, or even five minutes to see another person?
Not to mention one's mate!
Last but not least,
who the fuck was this friend she had brunch with?
I was beginning to see that around Rebecca lurked many shadows.
The next day, I hated my self for all my absurd suspicions about Rebecca.
After all, a love as profound as ours naturally implied complete trust.
So, in order to calm myself once and for all.
I found out where she lived, and decided to do a little investigating.
Cindy...
Don't forget we're all coming tomorrow night to...
Hi! Would you like to come to one of our meetings and chant for world peace?
No thank you.
Oh Hi! Would you like to come to one of our meetings and chant for world peace?
No thank you.
Oh Hi! Would you like to come to one of our meetings and chant for world peace?
She had told me that she always avoided those meetings.
So I stuck around for a few hours, until...
Could this be our little brunchmate?
Well, you know that...
There is a west African one that is very...
very good.
You have so much fun with you, Pietro.
Hi Rebecca!
- Martin! - Hi.
I waited all night for that guy to come out.
Long enough for me to realize that the woman I had thought was this.
Was actually this.
How many other men had seen her same expressions of ecstasy?
How many others had felt her inside? Had tasted her?
She had tricked me into thinking that she was like me.
She had made our love grotuesque.
It was over between us, over!
But then I remembered her face
when she looked at my photograph. when we made love,
and I knew that deep inside her she was still mine.
She would always be mine.
She was just young, mixed up.
I still wanted her.
Rebecca, pure Rebecca.
I knew that in time,
she would come to feel the same unconditional love that I felt for her.
And I knew that under the right circumstances
we could spend our lives together.
- Yes? - Hey there.
- Rebecca? - Yeah.
Am I getting you at a bad time?
No, it's a great time.
I was wondering what you were doing tonight.
Can I come over and make you dinner?
You're not busy anymore?
I decided to play along with her for awhile.
See if I could detect his kisses on her lips.
Whether she would break character.
But no, she was cool.
Very cool.
She thought I was like some naive child,
easily tricked into eating or sleeping.
And I'd made her think I was still her helpless dupe.
At first I responded hesitantly.
But her seeming passion easily engulfed me.
Yet despite the intense sexual stimulation I was feeling.
Something told me suddenly that I had to be honest and confront her.
Martin, what's wrong?
What's the matter?
Rebecca...
I gotta ask you something.
Are you seeing anybody else?
Is that what's bothering you?
Why is that important?
I love you, Rebecca.
I need you with me.
I've even been thinking about asking you to move in with me.
But we hardly know each other.
We do know each other!
At least we know each other well enough to know that
we want to know each other's core, just like you said.
Ah, Rebecca.
All my life...
All my life I've been kept alive by this feeble, feeble hope.
That I can find someone, just one person, who understands me.
And I found her. I found her, I found you!
There's like this invisible core which connects us.
Don't tell me you don't feel it, you do!
If I didn't feel something I wouldn't be here.
Then you got to tell me.
Are you seeing anybody else?
If I am, it has nothing to do with you.
Yes it does.
It's got everything in the world to do with me.
All right, if you must know.
I kind of date a lot.
And there is someone I've been seeing off and on for the past few months.
Off and on?
He must be special guy if you've been seeing him off and on for so long.
He's okay.
He's just okay?
You've been seeing him on and off for the past few months
and the guy is just okay?
Look, he's a very...
he's a very kind, very wonderful person.
He's helped me out with a lot of problems.
What's his name?
Peter.
Well, look.
Why are you here? Why aren't you with Peter?
Why aren't you faithful to old Pietro?
I don't... Because it's not that kind of a relationship!
It's not that kind of a relationship. You know why?
Because you don't want that kind of relationship.
Because he is not interested in knowing your core as I want to.
It's obvious that this guy doesn't satisfy you.
Well maybe that's true.
Did you sleep with him?
- Must I answer that? - Yes.
It's extremely important to me. It's absolutely necessary.
- Martin, I don't like this. - It's very simple.
All you gotta do is say yes or no.
No, it's a ridiculous question.
And where does it say
that I cannot sleep with two or three or a hundred people?
Rebecca!
Rebecca, sex is the most sacred of acts.
It's the most intimate way of telling a person that I love you,
that you're special.
Among the five billion shitheads on this planet.
If you fuck just anybody, you're no different than the animals.
But we are animals!
So fuck reason? Fuck intelligence? Fuck our spirit?
Martin...
Martin, look. I think that you are a wonderful person.
I think you're very special, you make me think.
And I think it's very exciting to be with you.
I want very much to continue seeing you.
I think maybe even I could fall in love with you,
but I just need time, all right?
And most of all, I do not want anyone to possess me.
I'm not talking about possession.
I'm talking about the communion of two souls, together, forever!
Rebecca, I must know whether you've slept with Peter or not.
If I tell you can we change the subject?
Yes we can.
- Alright, yes. I sleep with Peter. - He turns you on?
Martin, we said we were going to change the subject!
Yeah, to Peter turning you on, that is the new subject!
You desire him?
I didn't say that.
- Then you fuck him without desiring him! - No, I did not say that either!
Rebecca, Rebecca...
Look! It's obvious to me.
If you lay there like a cold fish while he is giving it to you.
And if he's such a nice, wonderful, kind guy as you say he is.
I don't think that there's any way that he's going to give it to you.
Unless, of course, you may be just pretending to enjoy it.
In which case you could be pretending to enjoy it with me.
- Are you pretending to enjoy it with me? - Why are you torturing yourself?
Are you lying to me?!
Rebecca, listen here, I am a nice person! I'm a nice...
There's no need for you to have to do that!
Look, five minutes ago.
- You're hurting me! - I don't care!
Five minutes ago, you were unhinging my pants
- because you wanted to do it with me. - Martin, you let me go.
Let's see if that was really for real! Was that for real?
Was that for real what you were saying to me?
I wanna know, did you say anything?
You want to be animal? Let's get animal, Rebecca, come on!
Come on, let's be animal! Huh?
Tell me! Tell me you love me.
Tell me you love me!
Tell me! Tell me...
Come on, tell me you love me!
Tell me!
- Tell me! - I love you!
I love you!
I love you too.
As she left,
I remember having the gnawing sensation that we hadn't resolved our difference.
The next day, as I waited for her to call and apologize
I reflected on what had happened.
And I began to see things more clearly than ever.
If I really wanted to purge her of her dark side, I told myself.
I shouldn't rush anything.
We should just have a good time together.
And she'd soon realize that she should be with me, and only me.
There remained only one problem.
Peter.
Personally, I wanted to pit the son of a bitch.
You know.
Stick a needle in the back of his neck and scramble up his little fucking brains.
But I couldn't do that.
I didn't want Rebecca to feel any sorrier for him than she obviously already did.
Now.
I decided to just act above it all.
I mean, if I started to act jealous and possessive.
That might drive her away.
Yes?
Oh, Hi. Is Rebecca in?
No, they're over at Peters.
Actually, weren't they going out for brunch first?
Yeah, they're out to lunch.
Brunch?
Yeah, they went out to lunch and over to Peter's.
Ah, huh. Gee, you know...
They were supposed to meet me here, uh, we made plans on...
I guess they went out to Peter's and they probably forgot.
Here's... I...
It's been so long since I've been there.
- Crescent Hills. - Crescent Hills. That's right...
Is that on the left or right hand side?
- 6626 - 6626
- Yeah. - 6626.
Thank you.
I needed a plan.
All I knew was that I had to stop them from fucking again,
from solidifying their stupid unholy bond any further.
Rationally,
I knew it made no difference since they had already done it so many times before.
But, the idea of that little fuck
poking my beautiful Rebecca again was unacceptable.
I figured, I'd wait for them, at Peter's house.
I'd break in, and when they arrive.
They'd find me sitting on the sofa reading a magazine.
Or maybe lying on the bed, or...
How about... in Peter's bed?! Asleep!
I knew that when Rebecca saw the two of us side by side
she could only choose me.
She'd run into my arms.
The fates would not have brought us together were it not so.
Indeed, years in the future we'd look back and we'd laugh.
And we'd tell our kids about my persistence in wooing her.
Oh, Rebecca.
No!
I had to modify my plan.
I had somehow to stop them, on the road.
No, they could still drive around me.
We've been together for over a year now.
Just the two of us.
No one else.
And even though she can't actually say it.
I know she loves me.
I know she does.
Blink if you love me, darling.
THE END